I want to be an honest man and a good writer.
Step 1 - Mental Health Treatment
It is difficult to know where to start with mental health or even to know whether you need help. There is no one-fits-all soluton for male mental health issues as they often need to be treated or explored in conjunction with other aspects that are part of the male-identifying person's history, identity and experience. This includes but is not limited to socio-cultural and economic background, sexuality (straight men may not have the same struggles as gay, bi, pan, or asexual men), gender identity (a given cis-man and a given trans-man may not have an identical lived experience), and religion.
Starting therapyNational Public Radio (NPR) has an excellent episode discussing how you can start therapy. The episode encompasses the challenges faced by many demographics, including men, people of color and immigrants. It provides insight on the relationship between how men are brought up and their relationship with anger. Finally, it provides guidance on finding therapists both for people with and without health insurance. We have embedded the NPR episode in this page and it should be visible right under this paragraph. You can listen to it directly on this web page.
Step 2 - Positive Male Role Models
A role model is someone you look up to and imitate in life. Who you choose to be your role model will affect you for the rest of your life. Most people look for role models in celebrities and people who they see as more mature and higher in life than they are.
A positive role model is a role model who makes you want to be your best self and achieve more whereas negative role models are role models who make you think you have to have a certain personality or make you feel like a certain set of attributes are higher than others. In a nutshell, negative role models put you in a box. Positive role models make you feel like itâs perfectly okay to be what you are instead of making you feel like you have to copy their every move to be as successful or happy as they are.
A positive male role model is a male role model who is honest with his feelings and doesnât pretend to be someone heâs not. He is himself instead of what society wants him to be. He expresses his gender freely and reminds you that you donât have to be hyper-masculine or have a certain set of attributes to be a man. He takes responsibility for his actions and isnât afraid to learn from others.
A negative male role model is a male role model who makes you feel like you have to have a certain body or certain feelings to be a man. He makes you feel less of a man for liking the stuff you like. Because of him, you try to convince yourself that youâre someone youâre not. You copy his every move and end up living your life as someone youâre not. Instead of making you your best self, he makes you what he is.
Step 3 - Supportive Male Friendships
Having male friendships in which you feel safe and donât feel like you have to hide who you are is very important for leading a healthy life.
According to Google, âsupportiveâ means âproviding encouragement or emotional helpââ. Therefore, in supportive male friendships, you can ask for emotional help knowing that you wonât be judged and will only be met with encouragement and sympathy.
Forming Supportive Male Friendships
To form supportive male friendships, you should look for friendships in men with whom you feel comfortable and safe. Men with whom you donât feel like you have to hide the emotions that society has deemed âunmanlyâ. Men who you know will accept you for who you are no matter what. It may be hard to leave your former relationships with other men that are no less than toxic, but it will be freeing and worth the sadness in the end.
Step 4 - Self-Reflection
Self-Reflection is the practice of looking inwards and finding out why you behave the way you behave. It makes you emotionally stable and more approachable to other people. It helps you better understand yourself and your behaviour.
Impact of Practicing Self-Reflection
Sometimes, something is bothering you and you donât realize what it is. Instead of looking inwards and trying to find out what it is thatâs bothering you, you lash out on other people and make reckless decisions. You probably think that this is helping you, but the only thing itâs doing is ruining your mental health and social connections.
An important part of self-reflection is being honest with yourself. You canât self-reflect if you keep telling yourself lies about certain aspects of yourself and your life. To truly reflect on yourself, you have to be open and true to yourself and embrace every part of your existence. You have to ask yourself the big questions.
Step 5 - Incremental Change
Incremental change is change that takes place over time through a series of steps. The idea of changing your life before a single nightfall sounds attractive but is rather unrealistic. Incremental change is a lot slower than radical change, which, in a nutshell, is âsuddenâ change, and some may even call it boring. But, in the end, incremental change is a lot more reliable and realistic. Taking small steps towards a better life also seems less intimidating to most people.
Changing your life for the better may seem hard and sometimes even impossible, but you should know that, despite what society makes it look like, you canât expect everything to change in a single day. Taking small steps isnât as ineffective as it sounds and is a lot better than doing nothing. Do yourself a favor and take steps towards a better future progressively.